the dichotomy of a mind

i remember one time a cashier was like “you’re really pretty” and i couldnt think of what to say and ended up saying happy birthday

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I'm a thinker. I think. Alot. Quite frequently actually. I think I even tried to think my way to sleep at some point. I don't think it works though. I think it's 'cause I keep thinking about important things that I don't think aids the whole meditation state that I think you should be in in order to sleep.

You'd think that thinking so much would make me an insomniac but I think it's a misconception. Partly because I'm a big sleeper. I sleep...ALOT. I don't think it's healthy to sleep for 21 hours straight without taking pee breaks but I do it anyway. I think it runs in my genes. But I think I've got a more concentrated dose of that gene than the rest of my family.

I also think that all this sleeping makes me feel so dormant so I draw things. I'm a huge drawer. But I dont think I'm that good though. Not as good as I am in thinking and sleeping. I'm thinking on getting better at drawing 'cause I like it as much as thinking and sleeping and maybe more. 'Cause thinking and sleeping can get on my nerves at times like when I want to sleep but can't stop thinking or like when I want to draw but feel really sleepy. But drawing never becomes annoying.

But I do more things other than thinking, sleeping and drawing.

I take pictures of my friends and make videos and watch movies and read and write and crochet.

I sometimes leave it all and stare at nothing and try to think about nothing.

Momma says I shouldn't be alone all the time but sometimes I like to spend some time alone with myself.

I love God but I don't think I have shown Him just how much I do.

I also think I'm funny and pretty but everyone else seems to disagree. But I don't care what people think of me. Liking myself is enough for me.

I have every reason to be Grim but I just can't help but be Blissful.

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